Monday, March 24, 2008

Buck Up, Buttercup


B and Me

I have nothing to write about today except that I am bored out of my mind. I won't complain though since being employed and bored is way better than being unemployed and bored. I spoke with my sister yesterday who had just as much of a piss-poor Easter as I did... scratch that... B had a worse Easter than I did since I have the excuse of being removed from my family by 2000 miles and I also don't really care about Easter as holiday. Any festivities my family was planning, I wouldn't be able to attend, regardless, but to add insult to injury my grandmother called my sister yesterday morning to tell her that they were cancelling Easter dinner since both she and my aunt were sick with the flu. Buzz. Kill.

Once upon a time my family was all about throwing holiday shin-digs where friends and family and even some people who weren't friends - like ex-husbands - were invited simply because holidays are the sort of events where no one likes to be left out, and really, who wants a suicide hanging over an entire family's head? I have vivid memories from my childhood of Thanksgiving dinners with upwards of 30 people crowded into our living room, and before everyone in my family stopped drinking, there's even photographic evidence that these celebrations were once marked by jazz and liquor.

Not so much anymore. Now there's an entire segment of my family that no longer attends most holidays in California since they're off with the in-laws in South Dakota, another segment who refuses to eat any of the food made for various reasons (one valid, the rest horseshit), and my segment of the family which consists of me and my sister trying get people to loosen the f up. One year we snuck a bottle of hooch in to liven things, but it only made us sleepy and paranoid that our sober family members were getting all judge-y about us being tossed.

Although, the thought has crossed my mind that I can't keep acting like a petulant child who gets upset when his eighty-two year old grandmother doesn't want to cook a feast for her 10+ grandkids and great-grandkids year after year, not to mention their assorted husbands, wives, and lovers. This has been especially relevant during any holiday I've spent away from home, since, if you want a turkey, you're gonna have to bake the GD thing yourself. I don't mind this, but I'm also just as willing to sign up for which ever Turducken party is going on (and there's always a Turducken party going on in Chicago) just as long as I don't come away with Salmonella or food poisoning or something.

So B, if you're reading this, buck up buttercup! One of these days we'll be in the same city for Easter and we'll go out for mimosas and pay people to cook our food for us. This way, we don't have to grow up AND we can get trashed. Thank you, Jesus.

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