Saturday, March 8, 2008

SNL's a Hot Tranny Mess



Christian Soriano continues his reign over America with this week's SNL in which Amy Poehler did a dead-on impression of the Project Runway winner. It was great, as most things that Amy Pohler does are, but the crux of the skit centered around how Christian's lexicon of hot mess, tranny, hot tranny mess, trannylicious hot tranny mess mess is akin to a foreign language for most Americans.




I find this angle interesting since if you're watching SNL, you probably already know what hot tranny mess infers about any given situation. Or maybe I'm wrong? I'll be the first to say that I have a tendency to write my own experience on everyone else, but on second thought, I guess it's not that common to work in retail and have your stock supervisor be a tranny who ends up being fired for theft, but not before she tries to frame you and your co-worker for it.

And for those of you who are still wondering, here's a brief etymology of Soriano-speak:

Hot Mess: Highly subjective. A subject marked by tragedy, confusion, misfortune, etc., but one whose fabulosity (per Kimora Lee Simmons) is in higher proportion to its level of destruction. A hot mess may be a person, place, situation, existential crisis, etc. Of note: the designation hot mess does not guarantee ultimate ruination or redemption (see: Britney Spears/any picture ever taken at Mis-shapes).



Tranny: In this instance, a man-born-man who lives his life as a woman. Designations of pre- or post- operative have little influence here, as the ultimate intent is of most import. Women-born-women who live as men may also be cited as trannies, however, this is less common due to the lack of ostentation associated with "male" dress. Here, tranny is generally used as a term of endearment.



Hot Tranny Mess: Same as hot mess but modified primarily by its relationship with/ proximity to a trans-gendered person. For example: a transsexual person may be said to be a "hot tranny mess" if they are fired for stealing and attempt to frame their co-workers for alleged offense; also, a garment may be said to be a "hot tranny mess" if it is especially revealing, ugly, see-through and is worn primarily by persons hosting bingo, karaoke nights, amateur strip contests, etc. Similarly, a woman-born-woman who either dresses in an excessively feminine manner, or has excessively masculine features may be said to be a hot tranny mess (see: Kimora Lee Simmons, Tyra Banks on the last four seasons of America's Next Top Model, and Joan Crawford/Faye Dunaway.



Fierce: A designation given to a subject whose intense likability vis-à-vis a steely indifference, results in an affect that is alluring, but alienating. For example: while trannys are fierce individuals who bear the burden of the world's skepticism about their gender "confusion", they are simultaneously confrontational figures who confuse ideas men-born-men and women-born-women hold about their own gender roles. Likewise, Anna Wintor stands as a notoriously famous example of a fierce woman-born-woman... allegedly. (See also: Amanda Lepore, Margaret Thatcher)



And finally, enough with the Vampire Weekend already. What's especially painful to me is that I know they're going to be on Pitchfork's lineup this summer and it kills me since they're so terrifyingly derivative of various musical formats I never liked in the first place. I was sort of hoping that ska died it's last wretched breaths while I was still in High School, and rather than make me all peace-loving and in want of a doobie, reggae puts me in a positively murderous mood... as does the scarf Vampire Weekend's keyboardist regularly sports (far left):



At what point, might I ask, does it become a pashmina?

Also, is it so wrong that I have a not-so-secret crush on Bill Hader?



This is what, like his third season on SNL and I'm just now taking notice? I'm pretty sure his first two seasons Bill was, himself, a bit of a hot mess, but not so much anymore. Hmmm... get me to Rockefellar Center, stat.

1 comment:

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