Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Brillo Padding My Stomach Into Oblivion

Do their tummies hurt, or is it just the movie?

I write this just as I'm emerging from the haze that's been hanging over me all day long. Said haze can be directly attributed to Monday morning's fiasco wherein I woke up to get ready for work, started taking a shower, and then decided I had to get out of the shower post haste because I had to vomit up a wicked little mixture of Italian ice and some not-yet-fully-digested greens from Sunday. Since I'd called in sick the previous Monday and since I'm going to be out on vacation this Friday, I was feeling pretty shitty about calling out yet again for work. Luckily, my better judgement prevailed and I did call in sick. I then spent the remainder of Monday alternating between sleeping, shivering, sweating, and watching shit television like Yes, Dear and Just Shoot Me. These shows are remarkable to me because A. they were the least offensive offerings out of all the daytime television served up by Comcast, B. I, once upon a time, watched and LIKED Just Shoot Me, and C. shows like these actually make me long for the sweet relief of work.

My stomach is still in upheaval as of today, but I'm trying to be nice to it this time instead of beating it into submission like I normally do. Whenever I get the flu, I'm usually of the opinion that any residual aches and pains are just my stomach's way of wimping out - like the asthmatic kid who gets out of P.E. for not being able to breathe or whatever - and so I always make sure that after the first day of gut-wrenching bubonic-like symptoms, I force myself to resume a normal diet. Well, I tried that last night, sort of, when I made myself a rice bowl minus the rice and plus lots of meat - a "meat bowl" if you will - and watched Juno which I got from Redbox... for free might I add. Needless to say, my stomach was none too pleased with me, but I couldn't really discern if the pains ricocheting along the length of my lower intestine were caused the meat bowl or by a lethal dosage of Ellen Page and Michael Cera - Jennifer Garner, let it be known, was one of the few bright spots in this painful, painful movie.

Today has been all about Italian Wedding soup, minus the meatballs, from Au Bon Pain which I paid too much for, but which I bought in hopes that it wouldn't completely Brillo pad my stomach into oblivion. So far, so good.


Jason said...

you most likely have the Norovirus aka Norwalk virus aka Cruise Ship virus. it's 2nd most common ailment behind the common cold. I, of course won't get this because I am forced to wash my hands for 20 seconds (which is approximately the amount of time it takes for one to sing happy birthday to himself twice in a row) more times a day than a person with OCD. my company's greatest fear is the Norovirus.. stay away from me as it can probably be transmitted through a computer

BG5000 said...

Well look at that, you hate a movie that you've hated for almost a year now. What a surprise.