Sunday, March 29, 2009

This is the best thing to wear for today you understand.

Bougie, adj.
Anything that is perceived as "upscale" from a blue-collar point of view. 'Bougie' is a hacked truncation of the word Bourgeoisie, which refers to the middle-class in Europe, but refers to a more affluent class level in the United States. See also, "Wine-Tasting Party".

I'm fairly certain I earned my bougie ribbon this weekend when I attended a wine-tasting party complete with a blackout in honor of Earth Hour. The guest list was comprised mainly of couples and although I was part of the youngest couple - and was the second-to-youngest person at the party - I'm happy to say I was not made to feel like a babe lost in the woods. In fact, I'm fairly certain I hit it off quite nicely with a few of the attendees - the wives, naturally, but I did have a rousing conversation with the hostess's husband about breeding show dogs from 25 year-old sperm - and once the drinks got to flowing, well, let's just say that the majority of attendees now know that I'm having my ganglion cyst drained on Tuesday.

So now I sit here high off of having spent the weekend spent with a wonderful man and attending a great party where some fantastic Argentinian wine was being served... and I wonder whether or not I should throw the Grey Gardens-themed party I've been mulling over for the past few weeks. My though process is as follows:

A. Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore playing the Beales merits a celebration.
B. I want to actually watch the movie.
C. I love my friends.
D. I love theme parties.
E. I will cut anyone who gets too loud during the telecast.

At this point I'm thinking I should just throw a Beales-themed party wherein everyone has to come as their favorite character. Boys certainly don't have too many options other than the cheesy neighbor-gardener-boy or a Maysles:

Then again, I think I'd be much more comfortable as Little Edie:

If the party does happen I think I need to have a signature drink in honor of the Beales. Not wine, but perhaps something made in a bathtub? Oh yes... the drink for today is definitely made in a bathtub.

Friday, March 27, 2009


Above is a picture of what, I'm sure, will one day be the interior of my sitting room. My jaw literally dropped when I saw this picture owing primarily to a deep-seated but as yet unfulfilled need for John to paint his walls black when he was 13. I'm glad my parents didn't let me go that route, however, since I'm fairly certain I would've neglected to include the tasteful tone-on-tone stripes seen above. And the daybed... oh god the daybed! It's perfect in so many ways. I imagine myself spending a lazy Sunday afternoon on it reading John O'Hara or something. Preferably Butterfield 8.

I post this picture today because Andrew asked me what style of home Future-John would one day like to live in. I came up with some "likes" but no definitive period/genre/style that, given unlimited means, I'd absolutely have to have. Then I saw this and it was as if all my questions were answered via a pea green couch and some black on black stripes. I sent the picture to Andrew who reaffirmed the room's awesomeness, we traded a few emails, and then he jokingly sent me the following:

My gut reaction is to scream, "DOUCHE BAG," through the halls of Harpo Studios after viewing this, but I, much like many in young gay America, sort of want Mr. Berkus' charmed life. Not that he hasn't had his struggles either - his boyfriend died a few years ago in the Tsunami and thank you Oprah for devoting an entire show to it - which is why I don't totally hate him. But maybe I should preface that by saying that Nate lives in a ridiculous apartment on the Gold Coast which was recently featured in Elle Decor AND he's dating the creative director for Bally, Brian Atwood. Le. Sigh.

Not the best picture of Berkus... Atwood was angling for the camera... again.

Still, I'm not complaining right about now for myriad reasons (you know who you are). I may have developed a wicked ganglion cyst on my ankle from running (but I have my health), my trashy neighbors may have stolen my sheets and assorted intimates (but I now have reason to purchase new underwear sans guilt) and I may not have that pea green couch at present, but I don't doubt that if it's still important to me in five-year's time, it will be mine. And frankly black paint is cheap. I could totally do that this weekend.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Why Chicago Is Gross...

Daley Plaza - March 13, 2009, 5:10 PM

I hope you're not viewing this on a full stomach. And this may or may not have just become the top reason I need to eventually move away from this city.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tautou Après MacLaine

Get ready to have your fashion block knocked off with this one:

Yeah, I know it's all in French but you get the gist... I'm just glad that I understood over half of it as I find that proof positive that my six plus years of French language education did not go to waste - Thank you Mme. Cohen!

This is one of the more exciting trailers I've seen in the new year and pretty à propos considering that I just spent part of my recent convalescence watching the new Lifetime movie with Shirley MacLaine as Coco Chanel. Here's a little taste of this gem:

The script for the Lifetime one was pretty tragic, but the woman who played young Coco wasn't all that bad. And she was actually FRENCH... or something vaguely similar sounding. Although you've got to love Shirley for not even attempting a French accent. As if somewhere around 1952 Coco just miraculously lost her Gallic tongue and started speaking like a studio-trained American.

I know it's coming out a little early in the year (or maybe not since it has yet to see an American release date set) but I really hope that Tautou pulls it out of the water with this one. She looks incredibly like the real Chanel and the synergy she's got going on that alone could bring her home an Oscar in 2010. Oh, AND subtitles... she'll have subtitles in her corner too (see: Marion Cotillard).

Just remember: "You rock my life!"

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Birfday Blessings

While it may be a little (read: a lot) presumptuous to post pictures of birthday gifts on a blog, I just wanted to thank everyone who bothers to read this for their exceeding generosity. Just so ya know, I had a great birthday, I'm a lucky young man and I appreciate each and every one of you.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Go Get 'em, Tiger

This is the attitude I'm shooting for today. And for life in general:

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

On Turning 27

Oh, to be twenty-one again.

Today's that auspicious day when I officially say goodbye to my mid-twenties and hello to my late-twenties. I'd be a whole lot more excited about this if I hadn't become a giant consumptive in the last couple of days. Seriously, when I started coughing in the shower the other day and spit up a little blood, my first thought was, FUCK. That is exactly what happens to Nichole Kidman in Moulin Rouge. Too bad my towel off wasn't accompanied by a musical number.

Needless to say I was sick at home all weekend and called out from work on Monday and Tuesday. I'm fairly certain this is the first time in my adult life I've not felt guilty about calling in sick since my boss didn't even recognize my voice when I talked to her. But it hasn't been a total loss; I've caught up on a whole lot of movie watching. A quick rundown:

Quarantine was tight little movie about people in an apartment building who start coming down with cold and flu symptoms only to become flesh-eating zombie-esque freakshows. I related for obvious reasons.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno made me hate Kevin Smith a little less, but then again he's pretty much just channeling Judd Apatow in this movie. Also, maybe it was the "porno" angle, but this movie felt an awful lot like a John Waters flick. This could also be because Traci Lords was in it.

By this point the sickness had obviously infiltrated my brain because I loved Mamma Mia. Amanda Seyfried was kinda perfect in this movie but - I'm sad to say - Meryl Streep sounded pretty atrocious at various points. Nothing, of course, could top her opener in Death Becomes Her, but COME ON. I guess someone forgot to turn on the autotune.

So now that my little movie marathon's over, I embark on turning 27 with a lot of hope for the year ahead. Twenty-six was a pretty tumultuous year emotionally and I'm not entirely sorry to see it go. When Bonnie was 27, I was 21 (the year I, for all intents and purposes, came out) and since I was such an emotional trainwreck at the time I remember thinking, I hope I've got it a little more together by the time I'm her age. And I'm not even sure if she knows this, but whenever I have a birthday I sort of compare where the two of us were when she was the same age. Not in a competitive way or anything, but in a do I have my shit together way.

Ultimately, I don't think I have my shit together like Bonnie did at 27. Or maybe we have our shit together in different ways. Or maybe we've got entirely different shit to get together... ultimately it's pretty useless trying to figure out how "together" I've got it I suppose. I'm just hoping for the best and excited about the year ahead.

Oh, and maybe I should also mention that this was the weekend when I downloaded a Taylor Swift song. Again, I blame this on brain inflammation or proof positive that I will never, ever, have it entirely all together.