Hillz Is My Homegirl

I think it's semi-hilarious that I have Barack Obama to thank for providing me with one of my primary sources of hits for this site. More specifically, I guess I should be thanking Shepard Fairey, since he's the one who created the Obey Obama posters. I don't even know if that's what they're actually called, but since Barack Attack has become something of a messianic figure, I think it's fitting that I call him out on his supernatural power to control the internets.


Suffer the little children to come unto me...

I was watching the Texas and Ohio primary returns last night and thinking thank god Hillary won, but I don't really know what I was so worried about. Katie told me that as long as she wears her Hillary is my homegirl t-shirt, Hillz can't lose. Katie's been wearing it more or less everyday for the last three months - even incorporating it into work wear, which I think is a pretty astounding feat - and since Hillary won last night, I now believe in Katie's actualization prophecy.

What with all this mysticism, I was also kind of wondering if Barack was going to be stricken with the stigmata while he was on stage in San Antonio last night. Or maybe Michelle. Or possibly one of their daughters... yeah, it would be a lot more effective if one of those kids showed up in Ms. Barack Attack's arms with some serious wounds on her hands and feet. I wonder if Michelle would blame America for that or just God?


Michelle Obama: Hates America; Ostensibly Loves Family

In any event, it's really disgusting how the New York Times is carrying an article today that basically thanks Bill Clinton's deft political verbosity for saving Hillary's ass. I think it's obvious that her turnout had more to do with SNL's resounding endorsement for Hills than anything else. As we all know, Tina Fey is a bellwether for all that is good and righteous in this world, Ellen Paige is big ol' lezzie, and Andy Samberg makes a better Diablo Cody than Di-no-no herself.